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Trading futures ruined my life
Hi, I have just suffered the greatest loss in my life, and I don't know how to handle it. Here's some backstory: I'm a student, and I have been investing in cryptocurrencies and stocks for the past 3 years. Investing was going very well for me; I had saved up money from part-time work during university, and I had accumulated a fair portfolio of cryptocurrencies and stocks. At one point, I had about 0.6BTC, and I had about £2k in a wide portfolio of stocks. At the end of last year, I was invited to a Christmas night-out at a casino with my then work colleagues. I always had a negative opinion of gambling, with my mother being heavily addicted to scratch cards, lotteries, and occasional casino gaming. I told myself "I'll spend this £50 I have lying around in my wallet, and that'll be it." and then I had a few drinks, provided by my workplace. I'm sure you know how that ended, since I am sure that every gambler begins like this. I lost the £50, and ended up sinking £100 more trying to gain it back. I was devastated and in tears, a rather embarrassing moment. I eventually had to quit my job, since I was going home for the summer to see my mum. Over the next 2 months, I would end up gambling away £1000 in cash online. It started with small bets (£10, 20, etc.) which exponentially grew as I tried to get each deposit back. I decided that the damage was done, and quit it there, deep into my overdraft. Then I got an email from a betting site, saying I had a £1 free bet waiting for me. I ended up turning that into £1600, and left at a profit, never to look back at gambling again... ...UNTIL! Altcoins had a strong boom in the middle of this year post-lockdown. I saw this as an opportunity to move some of my investments around. I had put in a few more thousand that I had saved up into one altcoin, and I rode that altcoin up to an equivalent 0.6BTC, with the intent of reaching my goal of owning 1BTC, and never looking at my cryptocurrencies again. I ended up holding this altcoin (hoping it would reach 1BTC) until I was left with £1000. This was devastating. I ended up accepting the loss, and carried on holding this coin for a few more months. At the same time, I had run out of money. My student loan had finished, I had no income, and I was living off my overdraft again. I had to sell all of my stocks, some of which I had bought right after the market crashed in March, which would've got me sizeable returns had I held them to this day. I however, needed to eat. I then decided to diversify the £1000 I had left in cryptocurrencies into a few different coins, to try and minimise my exposure to risk. I eventually got impatient, and I saw a bunch of people talking about the futures markets, and I eventually found myself in a Telegram group chat, promising to drop futures trades. These people were posting 70% returns within the space of 10 minutes of these predictions being out. I was bewildered, and I thought "this must be less risky than gambling, seeing as so many of these people are making such extreme returns from the futures market." Of course, being in this state of desperation, I decided to risk the £1000 I had left, to try and gain my 0.6BTC back. This did not last long. I had lost all of my cryptocurrency holdings on the futures market. That's 3 years of savings and work gone down the pan in the matter of days. The loss is of course, also psychological. Who knows how far those holdings might have taken me in the future if I had sold for 0.6BTC, or if I had not sold my shares? I then ended up trading away my overdraft, trying to get my money back. I am mentally drained, heartbroken, and in debt. I am also very worried that the feelings I feel will get worse as the prices of the assets increase over time. I can't pay my rent, and I can't afford to eat. I can't look my mum in the eye, and I can't bear to tell her what's happened, since she is not that understanding. I also have friends who know I was investing, and the shame I would feel if they found out I gambled everything away would break me, it makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. I'm now trying to get another job, and some internship/spring week placements, but I am only getting rejections, which just makes me feel even more worthless. Thanks for reading. Any questions, advice, or comments are more than welcome.
I am 36 years old, make $66,900, live in Portland OR and work as a Data Coordinator.
Section Zero: Background Hello all, happy hoildays! I stumbled upon this subreddit not long ago and have enjoyed the commentary and experiences everyone's shared. Wanted to add another perspective from a mid-30s first-gen American. I've had some missteps regarding careers and finances, but I feel like I'm in a slightly better place now. I tried YNAB in the past but I wasn't consistent enough with it. These days I use Mint to monitor my finances and have a "Finance Friday" each month to review all my accounts and spending. I currently live with my partner TJ and his dog RR. We do not combine finances, but he has been unemployed since March. I have helped him with some bills and basic necessities here and there until he finds his next job or career. My current financial goals are to just maintain a status quo and not get any debt until pandemic times are over. Then I will focus on a house remodeling fund and savings for taking care of my parents. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances? My parents taught us about money from a frugal perspective. They are immigrants who worked in food service/factories. There was always this “save save save” mentality. Even when they started their own small business, we saved like there was no tomorrow. In high school, my calculus teacher bought us all “The Millionaire Next Door” book and had us read it as an assignment - that was my first structured introduction to finances. Did you worry about money growing up? No, there was always food on the table and a roof over our heads. I knew that our extended family would support us if needed. Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes. My dad didn’t finish the high school-equivalent in their country, while my mom did finish high school, but no college. My older and younger siblings took a different path in life after high school. I am the first and only in my family to graduate from college. My parents covered all tuition for my two bachelor degrees with the agreement that I support them fully during their retirement and send them gifts/extra money whenever I can. I feel very lucky and privileged that they were able to provide that education for me. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? 24 when I went on a work holiday abroad. My family was always available to help when needed, but the experience abroad helped me stand on my own feet. As an adult, I also inherited that “save” mentality and put a lot of my earnings towards savings. I didn’t date until my 30s, lived frugally, didn’t go out to eat/hangout with people, shopped thrift stores, and had very few hobbies. I am starting to “live a little” now though. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? Aside from the tuition, my parents have helped with a down payment for my first house and living costs during periods of unemployment. Section One: Assets and Debt Retirement Balance If the place I was working at offered a 401k, I would always contribute up to the company match. I started my IRA in my mid-20s and would try to contribute the yearly max. I've stopped that the past 2-3 years though. My Other Brokerage is some play money, but I got tired of staring it and switched to index funds. I haven't contributed anything to it in a few years.
401k: $34,127 (5% company match on contributions)
Brokerage: $22,421 ESPP
Roth IRA: $40,615 VTIVX
Rollover IRA: $15,760 VTTHX
Other Brokerage: $7,235 VTI
Coinbase: $1,286 ETH (mostly just playing around with it)
Equity if you're a homeowner Purchased my first home for $382,000 with 20% down, right before lockdown earlier this year. Perfect timing, right?? I plan to live here until my retirement. My parents contributed $15k while I used most of my savings for the rest.
Current Equity: $80,371
Savings account balance: $3,073 Checking account balance: $7,800 Credit card debt: I charge everything on my credit card for the points, then pay it off each month using my checking account balance. Student loan debt: Traditionally no student loan debt as mentioned in Section Zero. Section Two: Income Income Progression (listed as gross income with cost of living area): High School
$11/hourMCOL - Helped with small family business.
College and first “career” job
$12-19/hour MCOL - I did events/banquet serving after classes and had an internship doing software administration.
$22/hour MCOL - Junior web developer. I realized after a year that programming was not my calling.
Mental health break
$12/hour LCOL - Work holiday abroad. I got a steady banquet server job for that whole time. It was enough to live minimally in a hostel, do weekend trips, WOOF and figure my life out.
College (again) and second “career” job
$12-15/hour LCOL - Decided to go back to school for a different bachelor's degree. While pursuing that degree, I worked at hotels and events as a banquet server again. I also did “search engine evaluation” whenever there were tasks available.
$36,000/year salary LCOL - Software administrator at a casino after graduation.
$39,000/year salary LCOL - Systemsanalyst at same casino. I left after 2 years, feeling disillusioned with the casino industry. I moved back home with my parents until I could get back on my feet again.
Third “career” jobs
$20/hour HCOL - Entry level advertising role. I was applying to all types of office jobs and that was my only bite.
$45/hour MCOL - Cold-called from a global company who needed someone with my software administrator experience from the casino job. It was an 8 month contract. Although I was starting to love my advertising job, the increase in pay was no question.
$65,000/year salary MCOL - After the contract ended and a few months of unemployment, I landed my current job at the same company. It is an “early career” role according to their job levels.
$66,900/year salary MCOL - Cost of living and merit increases after 2 years on the job. Pre-COVID we got a $5000 bonus each year. They have now stopped bonuses as well as all COL and merit increases.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: Monthly Net (paid bi-weekly): $2,758 Deductions:
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: No side gigs at the moment, but I am thinking of signing up on Upwork.com and doing Excel/data entry projects to help pay the mortgage. Other Income: TJ’s friend will be staying with us for a month in January, who will pay rent of $800 including utilities. Depending on how that goes, we may take on a roommate in the spare bedroom long-term. Section Three: Expenses Mortgage - when I bought the house, the plan was that I would charge TJ a portion of the mortgage costs as “rent”, but since his unemployment I am now covering it all myself. Regular Monthly Payment: $1677.57
Taxes & Home Insurance: $326.52
HOA: $30/year Retirement contribution: Nothing additional than what's been mentioned. Savings contribution: I used to do $50-100/month, but since COVID I’ve stopped contributing to my savings account. Investment contribution: None at this time. Debt payments: $100/month towards TJ's credit card balance of $2,307. Donations: $10-20/month, usually towards Omaze or Planned Parenthood. Utilities:
Natural Gas: $30-80/month
Xfinity internet: $60/month
Cellphone: On my parents plan. Subscriptions:
LinkedIn: $29.99/month for TJ’s job search - he’s found it very useful.
Amazon/Netflix/Hulu: We piggyback off family and friends’ accounts.
Nintendo Switch Online: 19.99/year
Gym membership: Pre-COVID I did Orangetheory for a year. I started to pick up free exercise equipment from Craigslist this year, so we have a small garage gym now and utilize YouTube exercise videos instead. Pet expenses: $10/month. TJ has stockpiled some Costco canned dog food before unemployment, but once that runs out I will likely cover the costs. We also started to make homemade dog food to help supplement. Car insurance: $460 every 6 months. Car is paid off. Regular therapy: I will start in the new year. Not sure what the costs are yet, but I will use my HSA to pay. Vitamins/Medications: $20/month Groceries & household items: $75/month Miscellaneous (eating out, house purchases, gifts, etc): $100/month Section Four: Money Diary Monday 6:30am Neighbor starts up their truck. We joke that it's our natural alarm clock. They idle for about 15 minutes before heading off. I go back to bed. 9am My real alarm goes off. I put the electric kettle on for some morning tea. While it's boiling, I do my morning routine: drink glass of water, take synthroid, use bathroom, brush teeth, quick shower. I then make tea - Jasmine Pearl English Breakfast with dark forest mix. I started ordering loose leaf tea in large amounts back in March instead of small bags or single serving packets. Seems more economical since I drink it daily. I let the dog out into the backyard so he can do his morning routine. 9:30am I go through my daily tasks for work. They entail checking processes and reports to make sure they ran successfully overnight. I then answer some emails and catch-up on Slack channels. 12pm Lunch is leftover roast chicken and quinoa from Saturday. I heat it up in the instant pot. Love that thing! Almost every meal of ours involves the instant pot. We hardly use the stovetop. We then walk the dog to the business park across from our neighborhood. There's a very short trail that runs along a drainage creek by the business park. It's quite muddy, but has a nice woodsy feeling. Over the summer, we saw sumac trees there as well. Free sumac spice! 1:30pm Department meeting on Zoom. Our director announces his resignation on the call. Everyone is shocked! Layoffs were announced for next year but this was not a part of it. I think it's a good move for him and he doesn't have to have this worry of layoffs over his head. 3pm I meet with an engineer from another team and talk about a data source they are in charge of. He helps me out in understanding it and we identify most of the fields that I need for a project I’m starting. 5:30pm I check in with my partner. He's been watching LinkedIn tutorials on internal recruiting, job coaching and general computeoffice skills. It's a career change that he wants to make - something where he can talk to and help people. He doesn't have a bachelor's, only an associates, and hopes these tutorials will get him a leg up in the job search. I sent him some entry level HR admin roles the other day and remind him to apply. I then heat up leftovers: homemade chana masala and rice. I add some butter and coconut milk to thin it out, so there's enough for both of us. 10:30pm I take some magnesium, vitamin D and Airborne. I say goodnight to the dog who sleeps in the office. Then I say goodnight to TJ. He sleeps in the spare bedroom on weeknights due to his snoring keeping me up. I'm a light sleeper while he is a pretty deep sleeper. Daily total: $0 Tuesday 9am I check Reddit Secret Santa. My match seems like a really good person. Not sure what to get, but most likely will purchase something off their wishlist. I wish I was more creative with my gift giving. 11am Meeting with business stakeholder. She submitted a few changes to an existing data process about a month ago. I make the change while on the call and have her test. Success! Marking it off the todo list. I love when we can finish things directly on a call. 12:30pm I come out of my office to make lunch. I notice my partner is not home. I check my messages and see that he's stepped out to pick up a few things. I ask for celery, carrots, and kombucha. $17. I make a quick charcuterie board for lunch: Costco salami, cheese, homemade hummus and Triscuits. It's a simple, fast meal that’s always in our rotation. 2pm My partner is back and we take the dog out for a walk and quick round of disc golf at a nearby park. We mask up and play only a few holes. Disc golf is a pretty frugal activity, you only need 2-3 discs to get started. TJ remarks that my throws are getting better, but then again they weren't great to start with. We talk about Christmas/Birthday gifts on the way back home since he was born on New Years Day. He mentioned snowshoeing but asked to not spend that much. I'll do some research! 5pm I think about personal career projects. Should I put up a portfolio of projects somewhere? I decide to try and pull some Yelp data. There’s not a lot of data points that I was interested in. Regardless, I tinker with it for an hour. TJ asks if I'm hungry. I said not so much, but felt thirsty. Maybe some ginger soup tonight? 7:30pm Dinner is served - ginger carrot soup made in the instant pot. We eat some rice crackers with it. Lately I feel like we've been eating more vegetarian dinners. It definitely helps stretch our food budget. We end the evening by finishing Fargo season 3 on Hulu. Daily total: $17 Wednesday 1:30am I'm woken up by the dog. He's been sneezing a lot and wheezes at random intervals. TJ doesn't have the money for a vet visit but I've offered to pay as long as he calls to make the appointment. I give the dog some coconut oil, rub his belly until he seems better and go back to bed. 7am Garbage day. We usually put it out the night before but I forgot. I get up to go, but TJ handles it. I think, at least. I'm too sleepy to pay attention and go back to bed. 9am I wake up and rinse some dishes that have piled up and put them into the dishwasher. We both grew up in households that had a home dishwasher, but forbade from using it. It was drilled into us that hand washing saves more water, unless you had a restaurant/industrial dishwasher. I think with modern home dishwashers, that's changed, so I wanted to try it out with our dishwasher and monitor the water bill. Don't have any dishwashing pods or powder, so I put some OxiClean in it. 12:30pm I overhear TJ on a call with a recruiting agency. It seems to be going well, lots of laughing. I heat up some taco lasagna that I freezer meal-prepped last month. 2pm Collaborate on a project at work with an engineer. My manager put me on this project since I was asking for an assignment on a more technical team. I'm learning tidbits here and there, but I don't feel like it's structured enough. 5pm I do an Orangetheory-At-Home workout and try to break a sweat. It's not the same as going to their studio. 6pm Charcuterie for dinner. Our fridge is full of store-bought and homemade pickles that go super well on a charcuterie board. Daily total: $0 Thursday 7am I wake up tired. The house has been feeling more cold, which woke me up a few times. We keep the temp at 72F during the day, at night around 68F since we thought the bedrooms keep the heat in pretty well. My mistake! 9am I do my usual morning routine and login to work. My team mostly spends the morning sending each other emojis. 11:30am Lunch today is mini quiche, frozen chicken and veggie entree, and hot dogs. Not the most cohesive meal, but it fills the belly. 12:30pm TJ heads out to his mailbox that's 30 minutes away. He is still waiting on his tax return and a 401k withdrawal. His taxes had to be filed by mail for some reason, then the IRS office shut down due to COVID. So he wanted to see if it arrived yet at the mailbox. He also takes the dog to the vet's urgent care on his way. They didn't have any regular openings available until the end of the year, and the dog seemed to be getting worse. I give TJ $40 to mail a gift package to a friend in France and also reiterate that I'll cover the vet bill when he gets it. 4:30pm I pay some bills, my favorite activity (not)! Sewer bill: $59.44 (billed every 2 months). Geico bill: $459.60 billed every 6 months. Then I follow up with my mortgage officer over email. I had sent her some documents for a refinance quote last week, but haven't heard back. Rates keep dropping, so I'm told, but what does that really mean? I do some research on realestate. 5pm TJ messages me and says he'll be back for dinner. I ask him to pick up some Popeyes via drive thru since we both don't feel like cooking today. Popeyes is currently our fancy “going out to eat” food. $24.17 for a 4pc dinner meal and a 2pc dinner meal. Daily total: $583.21 Friday 8:30am Busy morning at work. My phone is buzzing with emails and Slack messages. I try to answer them while I make tea. 10am Zoom Department happy hour. We reminisce about our director and then play those Jackbox party games. Some of them are hard! 11am TJ asks if he can make me anything for lunch. He suggests savory oatmeal, quick and easy. I tell him that I really appreciate him making meals/doing chores/etc without me prompting. We've been having conversations about "house project management" and mental load because I did most of the chores or I had to continually remind/tell him to do it. I'm really happy to see us progress on this front. I decide to work through my lunch break so I can end the day early. I don't often do that, but I'm ready to get the weekend started. 2pm I check on TJ in the spare bedroom and ask if the dog has been fed yet, since he was nipping at my feet. I notice something off about TJ and ask how he is doing. TJ is depressed about his personal life, career, finances. He doesn't know what to do, spends half the day meditating and reflecting on past trauma. I've been prodding him to get a therapist but he is confused about his insurance. He makes an appointment with a primary care doctor first. I feed the dog some homemade dog-friendly beef stew. 4pm My mom swings by the house (but doesn't enter). She currently works at a school who distributes free USDA food boxes since March. There's often many boxes leftover that would go to waste, so she will grab a box for us. Onions, potatoes, beets, turnips, eggs, cheese, butter, frozen veggies and frozen chicken. She also brought her vintage pasta maker. I asked last week if she ever used it these days and her reply was “no, feel free to have it”. I love pasta and noodles and figure it would be great to make it ourselves as a frugal hobby. 8pm We catch up on Mandalorian and watch silly Youtube videos before heading off to bed. Daily total: $0 Saturday 9am I open up my web browser and look at Craigslist and NextDoor for free stuff. I've been scouring for free landscape rocks, pegboards, and wood for house projects. I had this grand ambition to redesign our backyard. It faces our neighbor and currently the fence is pretty low. They can see into our kitchen and bedroom and we can see them. But y'know, COVID and going from dual income house to single income means it all has to be put on hold. So I've been looking for free items in the meantime. Over the past months, I've gotten planter pots, plant cuttings, a raised bed, stepping stones, all from free listings. I don't see anything worthwhile so I go and make some tea. 11am I look at Amazon and make some purchases for Reddit Secret Santa. A foodie kit, DVD of their favorite movie, and some cute pens for their writing hobby. $54. I hope they like it! 12pm TJ heats up leftover stir-fry for lunch for us. I put on some Binging with Babish and we watch how to make pasta. We have a plan - TJ makes the pasta, I make the sauce. Perfect date night activity at home. We watch some more videos on pasta and noodles to educate ourselves. 4pm I start prepping veggies. Big batch of onions, canned tomatoes, ground beef and butter in the instant pot. Meanwhile, TJ works on the pasta by following Babish's instructions. 7pm We gorge on fresh made pasta and bolognese sauce. It's so good! We end up watching Fargo. 11pm Usually I'll be in bed by now, but it's a Saturday and not tired yet (probably because of all that pasta). We play some Kirby's Dream Course on the Switch. Daily total: $54 Sunday 10am Quick walk around the neighborhood with the dog. He's on a new routine now with the medicine he's taking. It seems to be helping his breathing issues. 11am The pasta maker and flour is still out since we didn't clean up yesterday. There's some old pie crust in the fridge so I roll it out with the pasta machine for mini quiches. (Sally's Baking Addiction blog is my go-to place for her all-butter crust and quiche recipes btw). TJ helps by mixing up the eggs. 3pm I play some Genshin Impact (GI) on my phone while TJ plays Starcraft in the office. I don't usually play gacha games, but the Zelda BotW-style of GI appealed to me. A gacha game is a game with randomized characteitem boxes that you use real-money to purchase a “pull” or to spin the wheel. I know the gacha parts of the game can be a real money sink if you get addicted to them, it’s almost like gambling. My main team is Fischl, Bennett, Barbara and Noelle. I level up to AR 22 and look up free-to-play tutorials for the game. 6pm There's some leftover pasta from yesterday, enough for both of us. I throw in some roasted beets to round out the meal. We watch more Fargo while eating. Almost done with Season 3! 10pm I find a tour operator who offers a small, socially-distant snowshoeing tour up on the mountain. I reserve for two people - this will be TJ's Christmas/birthday gift. $75. Off to bed for another workday. Daily total: $75 Weekly Total: $689.79
Food + Drink: $41.17
Fun / Entertainment: $75
Home + Health: $59.44
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Section Five: Reflections Aside from the car insurance bill, this was a typical week for me, COVID or not. We make the majority of our meals at home and usually splurge on drive-thru/delivery once every other week. I may have overspent on the Secret Santa gift, but I don't often give gifts out to friends. It's not something our family does either. For TJ’s Christmas/birthday gift, we usually talk upfront about costs. I’ve gifted him fancy restaurant experiences the past 2 years, since we can share that experience, but obviously can’t do that now. Snowshoeing is a nice change of pace. The conversations with TJ this week have given me thought on how to approach him differently about finances and working together in a relationship. I’m still unsure about the future financially, particularly as my parents near retirement age and that TJ has pulled out his 401k to pay his debts. I don't know if I can support both my parents and TJ together, so I am finding ways to upskill and/or side hustles without becoming a workaholic or bogged down by stress. Writing this money diary was also the first time where I really paid attention to my past income and current income. I might be contributing too much into ESPP that could go towards the 401k or mortgage instead? I also seem to have been underpaid for what I did in past jobs, even in a LCOL area.
(Selling) HD MA, Google Play codes, BTTF 4K and more
Paypal preferred. HD unless otherwise noted. Back to the Future Trilogy 4K MA - $13 Magnificent Seven Collection HD Vudu - $10 https://www.vudu.com/content/movies/details/THE-MAGNIFICENT-SEVEN-COLLECTION/555040 Redeems at Google Play. Ports to MA - $2.50 each Almost Christmas American Sniper Argo Beautiful Creatures Big Miracle Death Race 3: Inferno (Unrated) Dolphin Tale 2 Entourage Fast & Furious 6 - Extended Edition Fifty Shades of Grey (Unrated) Furious 7 Extended Edition Getaway Girls Trip Hail, Caesar! Hangover Part II, The Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows - Part 2 Heaven is for Real Honey 2 Jason Bourne Pacific Rim Perfect Guy Risen Snow White & the Huntsman - Extended Edition Spider-Man: Homecoming Superfly Tammy The Best Man Holiday The Boss Baby The Bourne Legacy The Boy Next Door The Fate of the Furious The Fate of the Furious - Extended Director’s Cut The Great Wall The Lego Movie The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption HD MA Redeems - $2.50 each Fist Fight Live By Night Monster High Electrified Spider-man 3 Tammy The Gallows Unforgettable War Dogs SD and Misc: Barbershop Next Cut SD VUDU - $1.50 Dead Man Down SD MA - $1.50 Roman J Izr. Esq. SD MA - $1.50 Sony Buff Pass MA - $5 That Awkward Moment SD MA - $1.50 The Witch HD VUDU - $3.50 Wonder HD VUDU or iTunes 4K - $2.50 Disney/Christmas: The Santa Clause 2 & 3 4K MA - $10 Redeems at iTunes and ports to MA/Vudu in 4K. Santa's Little Helper HD MA - $3 Redeems at Vudu or MA Holiday Inn HD MA - $3 Redeems at iTunes. Ports to MA UK and CA GP. They will redeem and play in any GP.Do not port to MA. GP only.Prices in USD. All $2 each or 3 for $5. UK GP 22 Jump Street All the Money In The World Argo Baby Driver Batman Begins Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Batman The Killing Joke Battleship Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Birdman Blended Blow Captain Phillips Casino Royale Chappie Cloud Atlas Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 Concussion Crazy, Stupid, Love Dark Shadows Deadpool Dolphin Tale Dracula Untold Elysium Entourage Exodus Gods and Kings Fantastic Four Final Destination 5 Flatliners (2017) Focus Fury Game Night Gangster Squad Get Hard Get Out Ghostbusters Ghostbusters (2016) Going In Style Gravity The Great Gatsby Grudge Match Hangover Part 3 Here Comes The Boom Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Horrible Bosses 2 hotel Transylvania 2 How To Train Your Dragon 2 IT 2018 identity Thief Into The Storm J Edgar Jack the Giant Slayer Jersey Boys Journey 2 Mysterious Island Joy Jupiter Ascending Jurassic Park Jurassic World Justice League Kill the Messenger Lego DC - Lego Batman Movie DC Super Heroes Unite Les Miserables Life 2017 Lights Out Lucy Magic Mike XXL Mary Magdalene Max MIB 3 CA GP Allied Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Baggage Claim Ben Hur (2016) Captive Carrie Daddy’s Home Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Deadpool Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Dom Hemingway Enough Said Epic Exodus: Gods and Kings Fences Hidden Figures Ice Age Independence Day: Resurgence Jack Reacher: Never Go Back Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa Joy Labor Day Life of Pi Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Office Christmas Party Paper Towns Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones Passengers (2016) Prometheus Revenant, The Rings Rio 2 RoboCop (2014) Runner Runner Santa's Little Helper Strawberry Shortcake - The Sweet Dreams Movie Strawberry Shortcake: Berry Best Friends Strawberry Shortcake: Berry Best in Show Strawberry Shortcake: Berry Tales Strawberry Shortcake: Bright Lights, Big Dreams Strawberry Shortcake: Campberry Stories Strawberry Shortcake: Glimmerberry Ball Strawberry Shortcake: Hi-Tech Fashion Strawberry Shortcake: Jammin With Cherry Jam Strawberry Shortcake: Movie: Berryfest Princess, The Strawberry Shortcake: Snowberry Days The Book of Life The Counselor The Fault In Our Stars The Guilt Trip The Heat The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks The Internship The Longest Ride The Martian The Maze Runner The Other Woman The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Unfinished Business When The Bough Breaks Winter's Tale Whiskey Tango Foxtrot X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Being a Master's student at 20: First semester reflections
Hi, everyone! I'm a student in I/O Psychology and Human Resources Management. I'm also 20 years old, the youngest in my cohort and in the program's history. I'm not some super-genius or anything - I just got my associate's while in high school and I have a birthday that puts me on the younger side of my class, so I graduated with my B.A. when I was still 19. It's honestly a little frustrating being so young. I don't catch any flak about it from anyone outside of friendly banter from my cohort (and they're literally my lifeline, I don't know what I would do without them and I love them all so much) but I can't go drinking with them or get into bars with them - and I should emphasize that we're all within each other's "bubble" and we're all extremely cautious whenever we go anywhere, to tackle any COVID concerns. One of my professors even said I was "inexperienced, through no fault of my own," and he's not necessarily wrong, but I've worked a few full-time jobs, and it's not like I'm someone who has never been employed or anything. On a lighter note, I was a TA this semester, and I thought it was hilarious to receive emails that began with "Mr. IOHRM22," since the class I was teaching had over 600 students and there were definitely students older than me in the class. Dating is also more difficult due to my age. This could just be in my head, but I feel too busy/"professional" to date undergrads, but most grad students across all programs are at least a few years older than me and wouldn't want to date a 20-year-old - this could just be a mental block of my own, though. My program does summer internships where we work 40-hour weeks for a few months in the summer, and I've lost a few opportunities at casinos and breweries/distilleries due to my age and industry restrictions. Anyone else go to grad school super young? I looked for posts similar to this in this sub, but didn't see anything. Thanks for reading my thoughts now that this semester has wrapped up!
Folding the office job for a year full of (poker) adventures - PAGE 4
For the first page CLICK HERE (page 2 in comments etc.) ‘Oh no honey, it’s 44’’ So I finally got my Vegas experience and although it wasn’t a great success from a money point of view, it was a great first experience. Like every player I’ve wandered about what Vegas would be like ever since I first played cards, watched 2 months 2 million and saw the famous Chris Moneymaker footage. We go back roughly six years in time and we found a very young me in New Zealand. I was there for a Marketing internship and was already grinding the low stakes online .If you ever have the opportunity for sure go to New Zealand, and play in the SkyCity Tower Casino in Auckland. Very nice poker room with a view over the whole city . I always sold a bit of action to play live because I definitely wasn’t rolled for those games, being an intern student. Anyways, my internship ended and I have my good friend Rick visiting me all the way from Holland. We find ourselves sitting in the Irish Pub, drinking Heino’s. We’ve had a good amount of them and I notice an older woman a few tables further down winking at me. I’m 22 and tell Rick what I just noticed. Being a true friend he immediately encourages me to seal the deal. ‘A true milf man, you have to go for it’. I approach her, we have a drink and she tells me she’s 34 years old and from Brazil. 12 years age difference and from South America, nice. We end up in her hotel room and the next day Rick, me and another guy are off the South Island. I can still remember the cab driver laughing when I told him about what happened the night before. During our trip in the South Island we visited the casino in Christchurch. I’m the first one to sit down and there’s an Asian gentleman next to me in seat 1, he’s in the middle of a big pot when he is handed the hot tea he ordered. Being polite he decided to take it off the waitress and put it on one of the tables close to him, but not without getting up from his chair. It was his turn to act and when he turned around, literally 10 seconds later, he saw that the dealer mucked his hand. This led to an incredible outburst which was very understandable to be honest. His hand must have been very strong. Poker is weird, if someone gets screwed it’s always funny, except when it’s you. It’s like seeing people miss the train after giving it all during a last sprint, it never gets old. I didn’t speak to the Brazilian woman but when we were back in Auckland I decided to contact her. She’s keen to meet again that night, she’s staying at another hotel. Being a young gentleman I invite her to a classy place for some drinks. We’re casually talking and I mention I really would love to go to Vegas one day. She said ‘Oh it’s great I’ve been there 15 years ago’. I ask her how that’s possible because she’s 34 and you have to be 21 to go out and play. She looks at me and says ‘Oh honey, no not 34, 44’. Well this was certainly interesting, the age difference wasn’t 12 but 22 years. We had a great night and apparently she focused more on her performance between the sheets than she did on making breakfasts in the past 44 years. Worst breakfast of my life. Back in the now, I’ve returned home from Vegas and the money part starts worrying me a bit in the back of my mind. It’s not that I didn’t have money, I just didn’t want to spend money while being home. Money had better purposes, I’d rather spend it towards experiences like the Vegas trip and finding yourself in spots to sleep with 22 year older woman. However, the gap year was a calculated decision, so at the end of the day it would be fine. The only thing you can do is keep showing up and play your best. Within 5 days I got a really good run online and won the full 5k back, this is great. Vegas has basically been turned into a free trip now. In the meantime Gary let’s me know he’s staying close to the mailbox while being home, he doesn’t want his mom or dad to find a hospital bill. I picture the scene out of Harry Potter where Harry is waiting for his letter from Hogwarts. Things are going a whole lot better for our other Irish friend Clicki, he made the final table of the Crazy 888 WSOP event! One thing is sure, that backer he wanted to keep happy, he must have been very happy.
Should I accept a software dev job at a "sensitive" industry?
I just graduated and I'm applying for jobs right now. My results aren't the best but I do have an internship and some side projects that I've done (nothing big tho). I get no replies from the big companies (yet) but I've been approached by several start-ups. One of them peaked my interest, as I had a phone interview with them. It was quite pleasant and the project manager seems good and caring for his co-workers. Had around 10-ish employees, going to expand the headcount to the fifties. It has good work-life balance (for an Asian company) as far as i can tell, and requires working in conjunction with the IT fellas over there in Taiwan (which is fine by me, as ya boi here can speak mandarin). To top it all off, starting hours is at 10!!! However, it's an Online Casino industry. Personally I don't care even if I worked at PornHub (okay, maybe a little), but I'm sure that my parents would frown upon that (did I mention i'm asian and the parenting thing is big here?). The manager said that I doesn't really affect him, only making him feel numb over obscene amount of money flowing thru it. And I wonder if future companies would mind if I worked at a polarizing industry such as the gambling one? Need advice, am new to the cold hard reality of the working class, thanks!
(OFFER) Batman vs. Robin DCAU, Batman The Dark Knight Returns Pt1&2 DCAU; Black and Blue, Charlies Angels 2019, American Gods S1, Resident Evil: Retribution, updated list (REQUEST) Trolls World Tour, Birds of Prey ATFEOOHQ, The Hunt, Current War, Little Women 2019,
Premium titles and newer list additions in bold. Prefer to trade disney/marvel for other disney/marvel or rarer new releases.
101 Dalmatians Signature Edition101 Dalmatians 2: Patch's London Adventure A Bug's Life xml Alice In Wonderland 2010 xml Aladdin ma Aladdin gp split Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day Ant-Man Avengers: Age of Ultron Avengers xml Avengers xml Beauty & the Beast Enchanted Christmas full code Beauty & the Beast Enchanted Christmas gp split code Bedknobs & Broomsticks Big Hero 6 Bolt xml Brave xml Bridge of Spies Captain America Civil War Captain America The First Avenger Captain America The First Avenger xml Captain America The Winter Soldier gp split Cars 2 xml Christopher Robin Finding Dory Finding Nemo ma split Frozen Frozen Sing-a-Long Edition Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 High School Musical 3 xml Inside Out Iron Man maIron Man 2 ma Iron Man 2 xml Iron Man 3 John Carter of Mars xmlJungle Book 1967 animated Lion King xml Little Mermaid Maleficent Mary Poppins McFarland USA gp split code Monsters Inc. xml Monsters University Nightmare Before Christmas xml Oz the Great and Powerful Peter Pan Signature Collection Pixie Hollow Games: Disney Fairies Planes Princess & The Frog xml Princess & The Frog digital hd Robin Hood 1973 animated Saving Mr. Banks Sleeping Beauty 1959 animated gp & ma split Tangled xml The Muppets xml The Muppet Movie 1979 The Sword in the Stone 1963 animated Thor xml Thor: The Dark World Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast Tinkerbell: The Pirate Fairy Tomorrowland Toy Story Toy Story 2 xml Toy Story 3 xml Up xml Wall-E xml Wrinkle In Time
2 Fast 2 Furious 4KAquaman 4KAvengers 4K gp splitAvengers 4K Bohemian Rhapsody 4K Braveheart 4KCaptain Marvel 4K gp split Coco 4K Deadpool 4K Deadpool 2 4K Despicable Me 2 4K Die Hard 4K Expendables 2 4K Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 4K Fate of the Furious (theatrical) 4K First Blood Rambo 4K Game of Thrones S1 4K (itunes & GP) Goosebumps 2 4K Hellboy 2019 4K Hotel Transylvania 3 4K How To Train Your Dragon The Hidden World 4KIron Man 3 4K gp split John Wick 4K Jurassic Park: The Lost World 4K Jurassic World 4K Justice League Dark 4K Lone Survivor 4K Lucy 4K Mission Impossible 4K Mission Impossible 2 4K Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol Mission Impossible Rogue Nation 4K Pitch Perfect 3 4K Rise of the Planet of the Apes 4K San Andreas 4K Saving Private Ryan 4K Schindler's List 4K Solo: A Star Wars Story 4K Step Brothers 4K Suicide Squad Hell to Pay DCAU 4K The Bourne Supremacy 4K The Incredible Hulk 4K The Incredibles pixar 4K The Lego Movie 4K The Mummy 1999 4K The Revenant 4K Thor Ragnarok 4K gp split Thor Ragnarok 4K ma split Us 4K X-Men Dark Phoenix 4K
Adventure Time S5 American Gods S1 Arrow S3 Batman Beyond S1 sd Better Call Saul S1 Big Bang Theory S1 Big Bang Theory S2 Big Bang Theory S6Big Bang Theory S7 Black Sails S4 Fringe S5 Game of Thrones S1 Game of Thrones S1 (itunes & GP) Game of Thrones S2 Game of Thrones S3 Game of Thrones S5 (itunes & gp) Gotham S1Gotham S3 Hannibal S3 sd House of Cards S1 Little House on the Prairie S1 Little House on the Prairie S3 Masters of Sex S1 Nurse Jackie S6 Person of Interest S2 Shameless S3 Shameless S5 Shameless S6 Sharp Objects S1 Silicon Valley S3 Silicon Valley S4 The Knick (itunes & gp) The Last Ship S3 The Originals S2 The Walking Dead S4 The Walking Dead S5 The Walking Dead S7 True Blood S2 (itunes & gp) True Blood S4 True Blood S7 (itunes & gp) Turn: Washington's Spies S1 Vampire Diaries S3 Veep S1 Veep S2 (itunes & gp) Veep S6
007 Bond: Connery Collection Vol. 1 (Dr. No, Goldfinger, From Russia With Love)007 Bond: Connery Collection Vol. 2 (Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever)007 Bond: Daniel Craig Collection (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre)007 Bond: On Her Majesty's Secret Service007 Bond: Live and Let Die 007 Bond: Thunderball 007 Bond: Octopussy 007 Bond: Casino Royale 007 Bond: Spectre 007 Bond: Skyfall 15:17 to Paris 21 Jump Street 22 Jump Street 47 Meters Down 300 Rise of an Empire A Christmas Story 2 A Good Day to Die Hard (extended edition) A Quiet Place A Simple Favor A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas Absolutely Fabulous Alien 1979 Amazing Spider-Man American Sniper Anchorman 2 Argo Assassin's Creed Avengers Confidential Black Widow & the Punisher sd Babe Baby Driver Bad Grandpa Batman 1989 Batman and Harley Quinn Batman: Assault on Arkham animated Batman The Dark Knight Returns Pt. 1 Batman The Dark Knight Returns Pt. 2 Batman: Son of Batman animated Batman vs. Robin animatedBattle Los Angeles/Lockout dbl feature Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome (unrated) Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Birth of the Dragon Black and Blue Blade 2 Blazing Saddles Blockers Boo2! A Medea Halloween Bridesmaids Bridge of Spies Bring It On: Worldwide #cheersmack Brothers Grimsby Burlesque Cabin in the Woods CarolCharlies Angels 2019 Chi-Raq sd Chicago diamond edition Christine Chronicle Clown Colombiana unrated Constantine City of Demons Crank/Crank 2 dbl feature Crazy Stupid Love Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Daddy's Home 2 Dances With Wolves Deadpool Deadpool 2 Dear White People sd Death of Superman Death Race 3: Inferno Death Wish 2018 Deep Blue Sea 2 Despicable Me (itunes) Die Hard Dolphin Tale Don't Breathe Edward Scissorhands Empire of Corpses both english & japanese versions Empire State Ex Machina Exposed sd Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close/World Trade Center dbl feature sd Eye in the Sky Fast Five extended edition Fifty Shades of Grey unrated Firefox/Heartbreak Ridge dbl feature Clint Eastwood Footloose 2011 Frozen Ground Furious 7 Extended Edition Gamer Gangster Squad Garfield The Movie Geostorm Ghost in the Shell 1995 animated Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Ghostbusters 1 & 2 dbl feature Ghostbusters 2 Girl In the Spider's Web sd Girl With the Dragon Tattoo 2011 Godzilla 2014 Gone Girl Goodfellas Gravity Green Lantern/Green Lantern Emerald Knights dbl feature Gremlins Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers Producer's Cut Happytime Murders itunes only Harry Potter Years 5&6 dbl feature Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 High LifeHitman Agent 47 Home Again Home Alone How to Train Your Dragon 2 How to Train Your Dragon The Hidden World Ice Age: The Meltdown In the Name of the King 3 John Wick John Wick Chapter 2 Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle sd Jupiter Ascending Jurassic Park: The Lost World Justice League DarkJustice League Flashpoint Paradox Justice League Throne of Atlantis Karate Kid 4 pack (Karate Kid 1-3 and Karate Kid 2010 on one code) sd Killer Elite Killing Gunther Kin King Kong 2005 Kingsman The Golden Circle Kingsman The Secret Service Knight and Day Kong Skull Island Kung Fu Panda 2 Kung Fu Panda 3 Labor Day Laugh Out Loud 6 Movie Collection (House Bunny, The Animal, Benchwarmers, Joe Dirt, Master of Disguise, Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo) sd Lawrence of Arabia Life of the Party Like Water for Chocolate Lincoln xml Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended edition)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (extended edition)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (extended edition) Lockout unrated Logan Mad Max The Road Warrior Madagascar Triple Feature (3 hd movies on one code) Madagascar 3 Magic Mike Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again Mask of Zorro/Legend of Zorro/The Natural/League of Their Own Men in Black 3 Men In Black Trilogy (3 movies on one code) Menace II Society sd Misery Mission Impossible: Fallout Mistress America Moms' Night Out Morgan Mortal Kombat Legacy Mud Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon EmperorNo Country for Old Men/Gone Baby Gone dbl feature Notting Hill Ocean's 8 Office Christmas Party Ouija Our Brand is Crisis/Gravity dbl feature sd Overlord vudu hd Pacific Rim Paddington 2 Parasite Perks of Being a Wallflower sd Petals on the Wind sd Pitch Perfect Pitch Perfect 2 Pitch Perfect 2 (itunes) Predator 1 & 2 dbl feature Proud Mary Pulp Fiction Ramona and Beezus Ratchet & Clank Ready Player One Red Sparrow Reservoir Dogs Resident Evil: The Final Chapter Resident Evil: Retribution Riddick 2013 unrated Riddick: The Chronicles of Riddick unrated Rio 2 Rise of the Guardians Rise of the Planet of the Apes Risen Robin Hood 2019 Robocop 1987 original Rocky 1976 Roman J Israel, Esq. Runner Runner Scarface Scorsese Triple Feature (Goodfellas/Departed/Aviator) Scrooged Secretary Shawshank Redemption Sherlock Gnomes Shoot 'Em Up Show Dogs Sisters (unrated) Sixteen Candles Slap Shot Son of God South Pacific Spider-Man 2002 Raimi Spider-Man 2 both theatrical & extended Spider-Man 3 Spy/The Heat dbl feature Star Trek Beyond Star Trek Into Darkness Stargate (unrated extended version) Step Up Revolution sd Suicide Squad Hell to Pay DCAU Super Troopers Table 19 Taken 2 Teen Titans: The Judas Contract Teen Titans Go! To the Movies Terminator: Genisys Terminator 2 Judgment Day Special Edition That's My Boy The Age of Adaline sd The Angriest Man In Brooklyn The Apparition The Blues Brothers (itunes) The Boy The Breakfast Club The Bye Bye Man The Crow The Dark Knight Rises The Devil's Due The Great Gatsby The Great Wall The Greatest Showman The Grifters The Hateful Eight The Heat (Sandra Bullock) The Incredible Burt Wonderstone The Internship The Interview sd The Last Witch Hunter The Lego Movie The Lego Movie sd The Mountain Between Us The Nut Job The Possession of Michael King The Princess Bride The Purge The Purge (itunes) The Raid: Redemption (includes original and unrated versions) The Revenant The Shallows The Wedding Ringer The Wolverine (may also include extended version) The Wolverine extended version The World's End (itunes) The World's End ma This Is Where I Leave You This Means War To Kill a Mockingbird Tomb Raider 2018 Train wreck Transformers Age of Extinction Transporter TransporteTransporter 2 dbl featureTreasure of the Sierra Madre Triple 9 Trolls Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 Uncle Drew Underworld Awakening Unknown Upgrade Us Van Helsing Venom Veronica Mars War Dogs War For the Planet of the Apes We're the Millers Weird Science White Boy Rick sd What to Expect When You're Expecting sd Widows Winchester Wonder Woman Wonder Woman 2009 animated World War Z X-Men Apocalypse X-Men Days of Future Past Rogue Cut X-Men Origins: Wolverine/The Wolverine (unrated version) dbl feature X-Men: First Class & Days of Future Past dbl feature X-Men/X2 X-Men United/X-Men The Last Stand triple feature Z for Zachariah sd
I did it today. On my 47th birthday, I reached $3 million in cash & investments, a paid off house & 2 cars. I have reached my FI target of $100k @ 3.3% SWR. I knew it was going to be close with the markets, payday, and my company's equity coming in today. Plan is to FIRE in 3 months. $3 million was a symbolic number, I could have FIREd 2 months ago at $2.95 million and lived pretty much the same life. However, I am getting another ~$70k in equity in 3 months and would like a bit of a buffer especially with the volatile markets. Also, the plan was to take a nice trip to Europe in August - I don't see that happening. It is crazy, I know of many people who are laid off, working reduced hours, worried about their job or tapping into debt. And I am making plans to quit working. Mega edit: Asset allocation Cash & short term investments: 25% (increased 10% from equities due to C19) Employer's Equity: 10% Equity ETFs: 45% (down 10% - sold in early march, will buy back in later) Bond ETFs: 10% Crypto: 10% Please bring on the flames for timing the market, but I sold early-ish, it helps me sleep at night, and right now I am trying to be more conservative vs. aggressive. The crypto is a flyer. I bought casino level bitcoin in 2012 at $18, then sold a bunch when it went up to $150. Then bought a bunch more at $1000, and have been selling little bits for a few years. Total investment: $45k, total value sold and still held: $500k. I would like to sell more, but it has a capital gains tax liability, so FIRE with no income next year would help reduce taxes. About my journey Grew up middle class. Money was tight from time to time, but I never really saw that. Part time job when I was 16 for spending cash. Never went into debt. Saved a little. Went into a good college for STEM, received $8000 total for tuition from family and received a student loan for $1000. Did a few paid internships while in college. Paid off the loan with my first post-school paycheck. Graduated in the tech industry in 97. Started full time at the last internship. $40k base. Stayed there for 2 more years, increased base by 20%. $48k base. Left (co-worker left and pulled me), for a ~100% increase. $90k base. Stayed there 6 months (dying ship), left for ~10% increase. $100k base. Stayed there for 2 years (all of my managers up to CEO left in 2 weeks), left for a 0% change. $100k base. Stayed there for 1.5 years, was let go, started consulting at +50% (but no benefits). $150k consulting. Consulted for 8 months, left when project was wrapping up for -40% (+10% from previous full time) $110k base. Stayed there for 11 years (company was acquired 3 after years), increased pay by ~20% in 11 years. $133k base. Left for 5% increase. $141k base. Worked there for 6 months (bad fit), left for 5% increase. $150k base. Here now. Making about 4x after 20 years. Did not include any bonus (or not), benefits (health/retirement/etc...) stock options, quality of life, etc.. Current investments Canadian ETF / funds I invest in in decreasing amounts. XGRO VCN VXC VAB VT TDB900 TDB902 TDB909 TDB911 Tangerine Balanced (part of emergency fund) TDB661 CDZ
1.Casablanca 2.Peter Pan 3.Mary Poppins 4.Batman (1966) 5.Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory 6.Blazin Saddles 7.Rocky Horror Picture Show 8.Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh 9.National Lampoon's Animal House 10.The Hobbit (Animated) 11.The Muppet Movie (Original) 12.The Blues Brothers (Theatrical) 13.The Blues Brothers (Directors Cut) 14.Airplane * 15.Children Of The Corn * 16.The Goonies 17.The Transformers (Animated) * 18.Heartbreak Ridge 20.Spaceballs * 21.Full Metal Jacket 22.Die Hard 23.Heathers * 24.The Little Mermaid 25.Die Hard 2 Die Harder 26.IT (Miniseries) 27.The Doors * 28.Robin Hood (1991) 29.Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot 30.Resevoir Dogs * 31.Army Of Darkness 32.A Few Good Men 33.Batman Mask Of The Phantasm 34.Interview With A Vampire 35.Stephen King's The Stand * 36.The Crow * 37.Stargate * 38.The Shawshank Redemption 39.Die Hard With A Vengeance 40.Casper 41.The Usual Suspects * 42.Mallrats 43.The Craft 44.Independence Day 45.Mortal Kombat 46.Mortal Kombat Annihilation 47.Austin Powers 48.Starship Troopers 49.Blues Brothers 2000 50.The Big Lebowski 51.Batman & Mr Freeze Subzero 52.American Beauty * 53.The Tigger Movie 54.The Ninth Gate* 55.Beyond The Mat 56.Loser 57.The Little Mermaid 2:Return To The Sea 58.The Excorcist * 59.Rugrats In Paris * 60.Crouching Tiger,Hidden Dragon 61.Shadow Of The Vampire * 62.Peter Pan:Return To Neverland 63.Ice Age 64.Death To Smoochy 65.The Scorpion King 66.Joshua * 67.Dogtown & Zboys 68.The Bourne Idenity 69.Lilo & Stitch 70.The Transporter 71.Equilibrium * 72.The Italian Job * 73.S.W.A.T. 74.Stitch The Movie 75.The Rundown 76.Winnie The Pooh Springtime With Roo 77.The Punisher * 78.Anchorman * 79.The Bourne Supremacy 80.Shaun Of The Dead 81.Batman Begins 82.Sky High 83.Lilo & Stitch 2 Stitch Has A Glitch 84.Transporter 2 85.Doom 86.Walk The Line 87.V For Vendetta 88.The Omen 89.Accepted 90.Facing The Giants 91.The Departed 92.Happy Feet 93.The Invincible Iron Man * 94.Live Free Or Die Hard 95.Ratatouille 96.DR Strange (Animated) * 97.Iron Man 98.The Chronicles Of Narnia:Prince Caspian 99.The Incredible Hulk 100.The Little Mermaid Ariel's Beginning 101.Fireproof 102.Transporter 3 * 103.The Wrestler 104.The Dark Knight 105.Hulk Vs. * 106.Taken 107.Wonder Woman (Animated) 108.Watchmen 109.X-Men Origins Wolverine * 110.Superman Batman Public Enemies 111.With Great Power The Stan Lee Story * 112.Planet Hulk * 113.Percy Jackson & The Olympians The Lightning Thief 114.How To Train Your Dragon 115.Clash Of The Titans 116.Kick Ass * 117.Iron Man 2 118.The A-Team 119.Despicable Me 120.Batman Under The Red Hood 121.Superman Batman Apocalypse 122.RED * 123.Bridesmaids 124.Thor 125.Thor Tales Of Asgard * 126.Winnie The Pooh 127.Captain America The First Avenger 128.Conan The Barbarian (2011) * 129.Batman Year One 130.Ghost Rider 131.Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance 132.John Carter 133.The Hunger Games * 134.Wrath Of The Titans 135.Blue Like Jazz * 136.Marvel's The Avengers 137.Prometheus 138.Abraham Lincoln,Vampire 139.The Outlaw Josey Wales 140.Pale Rider 141.Spider-Man 142.Spider-Man 2 143.Spider-Man 2.1 144.Spider-Man 3 145.Spider-Man 3 Editor's Cut 146.Amazing Spider-Man 147.Ted 148.Dark Knight Rises 149.ParaNorman 150.Raiders Of The Lost Ark * 151.Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom * 152.Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade * 153.Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull 154.Dredd 155.Batman The Dark Knight Returns Deluxe Edition 156.Taken 2 157.The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey 158.The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition 159.Wreck It Ralph 160.A Good Day To Die Hard 161.Iron Man 3 162.Now You See Me * 163.The Internship 164.Man Of Steel 165.Despicable Me 2 166.Red 2 * 167.The Wolverine 168.Percy Jackson & The Sea Of Monsters 169.Kick Ass 2 170.Ender's Game * 171.Thor The Dark World 172.Hunger Games Catching Fire * 173.The Hobbit Desolation Of Smaug 174.Secret Life Of Walter Mitty 175.Delivery Man 176.First Blood * 177.Rambo First Blood Part 2 * 178.Rambo III * 179.Rambo * 180.Robocop 181.The Lego Movie 182.Muppets Most Wanted 183.Noah * 184.Captain America Winter Soldier 185.The Amazing Spider-Man 2 186.Son Of Batman 187.Neighbors 188.Mom's night Out 189.Blended 190.How To Train Your Dragon 2 191.Guardians Of The Galaxy 192.Ghostbusters (1984) 193.Ghostbusters 2 194.Sheik 195.The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 * 196.The Hobbit Battle Of Five Armies 197.Radio America * 198.Taken 3 199.Big Hero Six 200.Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace 201.Star Wars Episode II Attack Of The Clones 202.Star Wars Episode III Revenge Of The Sith 203.Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope 204.Star Wars Episode V Empire Strikes Back 205.Star Wars Episode VI Return Of The Jedi 206.Avengers Age Of Ultron 207.Ted 2 208.Minions 209.Ant-man 210.Fantastic 4 (2015) 211.The Intern 212.The Last Witch Hunter * 213.The Peanuts Movie 214.Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 * 215.Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens 216.X-Men 217.X2 218.X-Men The Last Stand 219.X-Men First Class 220.X-Men Days Of Future Past 221.X-Men Apocalypse 222.Batman Beyond Return Of The Joker 223.Superman Brainiac Attacks 224.Batman Mystery Of The Batwoman 225.Deadpool 226.Gods Of Egypt * 227.Superman Vs Batman Dawn Of Justice 228.Captain America Civil War 229.Warcraft 230.Now You See Me Too * 231.Superman Vs Batman Dawn Of Justice 232.Ghostbusters (2016) 233.Batman The Killing Joke 234.Jason Bourne 235.Suicide Squad 236.Suicide Squad (Extended) 237.The Accountant 238.Dr Strange 239.Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them 240.Incarnate 241.La La Land 242.Star Wars Rogue One 243.Assasin's Creed 244.Justice League New Frontier 245.Justice League Crisis On Two Earths 246.Justice League Doom 247.Justice League Flashpoint Crisis 248.Justice League War 249.Justice League Throne Of Atlantis 250.Justice League Gods & Monsters 251.Justice League Vs Teen Titans 252.Split 253.A Dog's Purpose 254.John Wick Chapter 1 * 255.John Wick Chapter 2 * 256.Logan 257.Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 258.Pulp Fiction * 259.From Dusk Till Dawn * 260.Jackie Brown 261.Kill Bill Vol.1 262.Kill Bill Vol.2 263.Vixen 264.Wonder Woman 265.Transformers 266.Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen 267.Transformers Dark Of The Moon 268.Transformers Age Of Extinction 269.Transformers The Last Knight 270.Despicable Me 3 271.Spider-Man Homecoming 272.Atomic Blonde 273.The Dark Tower 274.IT (2017) 275.Breaking 2 * 276.Thor Ragnarok 277.Wonder * 278.Justice League 279.Kingsmen The Secret Service 280.Kingsmen The Golden Circle 281.Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi 282.Ferdinand 283.The Greatest Showman 284.Winchester * 285.Black Panther 286.I Can Only Imagine 287.Rampage 288.Avengers Infinity War 289.Dead Pool 2 Super Duper Cut 290.Solo A Star Wars Story 291.Tag 292.Won't You Be My Neighbor? 293.Ant-man & The Wasp 294.Skyscraper 295.The Death Of Superman 296.Teen Titans Go To The Movies 297.Christopher Robin 298.The Purge 299.The Purge Anarchy 300.The Purge Election Year 301.The First Purge 302.Venom 303.The Nutcracker & The Four Seasons 304.Bohemian Rhaphsody 305.Instant Family * 306.Fantastic Beasts The Crimes Of Grindelwald 307.Ralph Breaks The Internet 308.Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse 309.Once Upon A Deadpool 310.Aquaman 311.The Mule 312.Bumblebee 313.A Dog's Way Home 314.Glass 315.How To Train Your Dragon The Hidden World 316.Fighting With My Family * 317.Bonehill Road * 318.Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas 319.Goodbye Christopher Robin 320.Shazam 321.Captain Marvel 322.The Lone Ranger 323.Detective Pikachu 324.Boss Baby 325.Highlander * 326.Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back * 327.Unbreakable 329.Batman Hush 330.God's Not Dead 331.Alita Battle Angel 332.Maleficent 333.Zootopia 334.The Lion King 335.Willow 336.Monsters Inc 337.Monsters University 338.Dumbo (75th Anniversary Edition) 339.Mulan (1998) 340.Mulan 2 341.Mary Poppins Returns 342.Avengers Endgame 343.Rocketman * 344.Almost Famous * 345.That Thing You Do 346.The Last Airbender * 347.The Reign Of The Supermen 348.Inside Out 349.Oz The Great And Powerful 350.Neat:The Story Of Bourbon * 351.Batman:Assault On Arkham 352.August Rush 353.Legally Blonde * 354.Legally Blonde 2 Red White and Blonde * 354.Death Wish (2018) * 355.The Terminator * 356.Terminator 2 Judgement Day * 357.The Expendables Extended Director's Cut * 358.Flywheel 359.Courageous 360.Serenity 361.Scotch:A Golden Dream * 362.A Dog's Journey 363.Hercules * 364.G.I. Joe:Retaliation * 365.Star Trek:Into Darkness * 366.Star Trek Beyond * 367Exodus Gods And Kings 368.The Hunt For Red October * 369.Patriot Games * 370.Clear And Present Danger * 371.Sum Of All Fears * 372.Jack Ryan:Shadow Recruit * 373.Snow White & The Huntsman 374.The Huntsman Winter War 375.The Parent Trap (1998) 376.Spider-man:Far From Home 377.School Of Rock * 378.Clownado * 379.X-Men Dark Phoenix 380.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) * 381.101 Dalmatians 382.The Devil's Advocate 383.The Lost Boys 384.The Adams Family * 385.The Adams Family Values * 386.I,Frankenstein * 387.Toy Story 4 388.The World's End 389.Conan The Destroyer 390.The Case For Christ 391.The Matrix 392.The Incredible Hulk Returns * 393.The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk * 394.G.I. Joe:The Rise Of Cobra * 395.Gladiator * 396.Braveheart * 397.The Dirty Dozen 398.Iron Eagle * 399.This Is Spinal Tap * 400.Overcomer 401.It Chapter Two 402.The Fellowship Of The Ring 403.The Two towers 404.The Return Of The King 405.The Karate Kid 406.The Karate Kid II 407.The Karate Kid III 408.John Wick 3 Parabellum * 409.The Next Karate Kid 410.A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood 411.The Ten Commandments (1956) * 412.Star Trek (2009) * 413.Veronica Mars 414.The Lion King (2019) 415.Wonder Woman Bloodlines 416.The Santa Clause 417.The Santa Clause 2 418.The Santa Clause 3 The Escape Clause 419.Once Upon A Time In Hollywood 420.Joker 421.The Green Mile 422.Happy Gilmore 423.Greatest Story Ever Told * 424.101 Dalmatians:Spot's London Adventure 425.John Wick 3:Parabellum * 426.Zombieland:Double Tap 427.Zombieland 428.God's Not Dead 2 429.God's Not dead:A Light In The Darkness 430.Hot Fuzz 431.The Wizard Of Oz 432.Django UnChained * 433.Shrek 434.Shrek 2 435.Shrek The Third 436.Shrek Forever After 437.Shrek The Halls * 438.Point Break 439.Risen 440.Inglorious Basterds * 441.Jay & Silent Bob Reboot * 442.Ford Vs Ferrari 443.Pet Semetary (2019) * 444.Aladdin (2019) 445.Dumbo (2019) 446.Men In Black International 447.The Art Of Racing In The Rain 448.Robin Hood Men In Tights 449.The Game Plan 450.The Waterboy 451.A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood 452.Sleeping Beauty 453.3:10 To Yuma (2007) * 454.True Grit (2010) * 455.True Grit (1969) * 456.World War Z * 457.The Longest yard (1974) * 458.The longest Yard (2005) * 459.Anchorman 2 The Legend Continues (Unrated) * 460.Anchorman 2 The Legend Continues * 461.The Blindside 462.Bullitt 463.Unforgiven 464.Knives Out* 465.Caddyshack 466.Three From Hell * 467.The Devil's Rejects * 468.Maleficent Mistress Of Evil 469.House Of 1000 Corpses * 470.Robin Hood (2018) * 471.Life As We Know It 472.Gangs Of New York * 473.Problem Child 474.Dazed And Confused 475.Billy Madison 476.Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny 477.Kung Fu Panda 478.Forest Gump * 479.Fellowship Of The Ring (Extended Edition) 480.The Two Towers (Extended Edition) 481.Return Of The King (Extended Edition) 482.Midway * 483.Kelly's Heroes 484.The Quiet Man * 485.Road To Perdition * 486.Happiness Is A Warm Blanket,Charlie Brown * 487.Divergent * 488.Frozen II 489.Mr Deeds 490.Paige * 491.Insurgent * 492.Allegiant * 493.The Epic Journey Of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson * 494.Labyrinth 495.WWE Evolution * 496.Pacific Rim 497.Pacific Rim Uprising 498.The Great Escape * 499.Rush Hour 500.Rush Hour 2 501.Rush Hour 3 502.Matilda 503.Brightburn 504.Passion Of The Christ 505.Dante's Inferno * 506.The Founder * 507.Ben Hur (1959) 508.Rambo:Last Blood * 509.Big Daddy 510.The Warriors * 511.Star Wars:Rise Of Skywalker 512.Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone 513.Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets 514.Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban 515.Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire 516.Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix 517.Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince 518.Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1 519.Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2 520.A Fistful Of Dollars * 521.For A Few Dollars More * 522.The Good,The Bad & The Ugly * 523.Valdez Is Coming * 524.Little Shop Of Horrors 525.Little Nicky 526.The Last Full Measure * 527.The Omen 528.Damien:The Omen II 529.The Omen III:The Final Conflict 530.The Omen IV: The Awakening 531.Child's Play (2019)* 532.Oh Brother Where Art Thou? 533.Cats 534.Robin Hood (1973 Disney) 535.The Lady & The Tramp 536.Pinocchio 537.Aladdin (!992 Animated) 538.Tombstone 539.Fast & The Furious Presents:Hobbs & Shaw 540.Dora & The Lost City Of Gold* 541.Gretel & Hansel (2019)* 542.Justice League Dark:Apokolips War 543.Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead* 544.Justice League Dark 545.Batman Vs. Robin 546.Suicide Squad:Hell To Pay 547.Rio Bravo 548.Teen Titans:The Judas Contract 549.Constantine:City Of Demons 550.Dr Sleep 551.The Shining 552.Batman & Harley Quinn 553.All Star Superman 554.Superman Returns 555.Superman Vs The Elite 556.Jurrasic World 557.Jurrassic World Fallen Kingdom 558.Mystery Science Theater 3000 559.Superman/Shazam Return Of Black Adam 560.Batman Gotham Knight 561.Austin Powers in The Spy Who Shagged Me 562.Austn Powers in Goldmember 563.Young Guns 2 * 564.Flash Gordon 565.Just Mercy 566.A Clockwork Orange 567.Galaxy Quest* 568.Being Flynn 569.Spies In Disguise 570.Paint Your Wagon* 571.The Outsiders:The Complete Novel 572.Top Gun* 573.Batman (1989) 574.Batman Returns 575.Batman Forever 576.Batman & Robin 577.Firefox 578.Rambo:Last Blood Extended Cut* 579.The Lego Batman Movie 580.Lego Shazam:Magic & Monsters 581.Green Lantern:Emerald Knights 582.Green Lantern:First Flight 583.Legend Of Leadbelly* 584.Breath Of Freedom* 585.MLK Assasination Tapes* 586.Serving Justice:The Greensboro Four* 587.Black Wings* 588.Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island 589.Goodfellas 590.Superman:Unbound 591.Superman:Doomsday 592.Julie & Julia 593.Batman Vs. Dracula 594.Falling Down 595.Space Cowboys 596.Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure* 597.Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey* 598.Nightmare On Elm Street 599.Bill & Ted Face The Music* 600.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out Of The Shadows* 601.The Princess Bride* 602.Casino 603.Snakes On A Plane 604.Teenaga Mutant Ninja Turtle (1990) 605.Marvel 75 From Pulp To Pop! 606.Fantastic Four (2005) 607.Fantastic Four:Rise Of The Silver Surfer 608.Hulk 609.Daredevil (Director's Cut) 610.Blade 611.Blade II 612.Blade Trinity 613.Green Lantern (Extended Version) 614.X-Men Origins:Wolverine (Theatrical) 615.Contraband 616.Dr Strangelove Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb 617.Easy Rider 618.21 Bridges* 619.Boondock Saints 620.Silence Of The Lambs* 621.Hannibal* 622.Crank* 623.Gotham By Gaslight 624.Deathstroke:Knights And Dragons 625.Batman Unlimited Animal Instinct 626.Batman Unlimited Monster Mayhem 627.Batman Unlimited Mechs And Mutants 628.Supeman:Red Son 629.Superman:Man Of Tomorrow 630.Machete Kills 631.The Incredibles 632.American Pie (Unrated) 633.Marvel's Iron Man,Hulk:Heroes United 634.Wayne's World* 635.Wayne's World 2* 636.Machete 637.JLA Adventures:Trapped In Time 638.Teen Titans:Trouble In Tokyo 639.Finding Nemo 640.Finding Dory 641.Batman:Death In The Family 642.Bram Stoker's Dracula 643.The Evil Dead 644.Evil Dead 2:Dead By Dawn 645.Ghost In The Shell (1996) 646.Friday The Thirteenth 647.Friday The Thirteenth Part 2 648.Friday The Thirteenth Part 3 649.Friday The Thirteenth The Final Chapter 650.Friday The Thirteenth Part V A New Beginning 651.Friday The Thirteenth Part VI Jason Lives 652.Friday The Thirteenth Part VII The New Blood 653.Friday The Thirteenth Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan 654.Jumanji 655.Jumanji:Welcome To The Jungle 656.Jumanji:The Next Level 657.Mulan (2020) 658.The Expendables * 659.The Expendables 2* 660.The Expendables 3* 661.I Still Believe* 662.Uncle Tom* *=Not on Movies Anywhere
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Just miserably failed my 3rd Coding Assessment! Honest opinions, advice, help?
Hey guys! I just submitted my RobinHood coding assessment answering only 1 out of 4 tasks. read the last 3 but didn't try because I was not motivated ( mainly because of the difficulty ), tired, and clearly not prepared enough. This happened after taking Cisco's and Citi's assessments and feeling like I did awful on both last week. Here's my situation: I started coding at 13, played around a few languages and interesting projects ( Ruby/RoR chatting website, C# Unity games, C/C++ maths games ( card/casino games ). Because of how early that was I always did fine and learned/got through these projects with tutorials and at my own pace. Never got pressured for solving a problem or answering someone's demand for a deadline. I started CS classes in College where deadlines and requests started to appear but I passed every one of my classes with an A ( no bragging intended, it doesn't mean anything ). But here's my problem: I am starting the semester right now taking Software Development but I am at the same time looking for an internship for next Summer and I'm AWFUL at taking coding assessments. First, how bad is it? I know these assessments are doable, I'm just not prepared, an intensive preparation would do the job but I don't have one right now and with the semester starting I don't think I can get myself to become a coding assessment killer in the next few weeks. I guess I need some reassuring rn because I feel like giving up and waiting for the winter break to get ready for assessments. Will good and fun and rewarding internships still be available in DecembeJanuary? Any opinions, advice? I'm just looking for a little help in this process in which I feel totally alone. PS: As a lot of people mentioned ( wrongly? ), this subreddit makes a lot of students powerless seeing how well everyone is doing. I would love to hear from people who don't usually post or people who feel like me, so if you're doing good or even okay but don't feel like you can kill every assessment in the world ( OR at least one, we need ONE ) just let me know.
Our society does not attribute success and failure to personal choices enough.
I feel like everyday I see people on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media who are poor continue to somehow blame the system for why they’re poor. It seems like our society always blame society itself for making them poor and never on personal choices. Now I’m not denying some people are just born into bad economics situation and it’s difficult for them to get out. But I feel like as a society we never seem to hold people responsible for their failure or success. Most people you hear that eventually became successful (that didn’t inherit things) did so through good choices. They studied hard, they went to a good school, did internships and then looked for good jobs. They may also have made smart financial decisions like investing their money and/or savings. I will say for myself, I used to be broke. I had like 73 cents to my name. I eventually worked my way up, saved up enough money and then I bought a house too. While my friends spent their paychecks on shoes, mobile games, the newest toys, I was saving and investing. I made good choices. I also know friends who made good money at their jobs but constantly struggled to pay the bills. It’s because they constantly spent their money eating out, buying things, and even going to casinos. I hate hearing people less successful always throwing around the word “lucky” or they were privileged when seeing others successful. Sorry that I made smart choices and you didn’t. Sorry that when we were in high school, you partied and didn’t care about grades while I studied hard. Sorry that while you spent your money on those new Jordan’s, I saved my money. We need to stop associating economic failure or success of a person as SIMPLY due to life circumstances but also the choices that people make too. I’ve seen rich people become poor and rags to riches stories.
I know this probably is not the best place to ask but I will honestly take any opportunity to find a job at this point. For a little back ground on me. I was originally supposed to go to Washington DC this summer to work as a cyber security intern but due to Covid that was canceled. If any of you guys know about place that is looking to fill a role or hire a summer programmer please let me know. If you want my resume please send me a PM and I’ll be more than happy to send it over.
[Thank you] Playing catch up on my thank yous to some awesome people!
Celebrated both my birthday and my mother's and so I have finally opened all of my cards (some of which I have been saving to open) I think I'm finally going to be caught up on all of my thank yous after this post. Some of these thank yous are waaay overdue (and my mother chastised me for that - as I said in the comments, guess you're never too old to get a lecture from your parents about your behavior haha) u/travel4me22 – omg such a cute card you made!!! u/juenct88 – good luck with getting an internship – fingers crossed for you! u/imnoporcupine (x3) – your card totally cracked me up!! I guess it’s good the balloon popped before you sent it rather than en route lol. I also loved the turtle postcard – I am trying to remember what actor says “totally” like “turtly”….gonna drive me crazy til I remember. u/New_Year_Baby – thank you so much for the birthday card!!! I’m still not used to the new larger number though! u/flip_2001 – I loved your card – such cool lyrics u/suregeson (x2) – my mother loved your use of letter stickers! I’ve now got an idea on how to use up my growing stash of letter stickers I rarely use u/monetmonkey – I loved the pink/yellow/orange themed card and the washi! u/ecstatic-safe – thank you for the lovely card! u/soft_distortion – I loved the succulent card and the lucky crane! If I ever get brave enough to go back into a casino again I’m taking it with me for luck! u/xoxounityoxox (x2) – my mother loved your typewriter card. She was a medical secretary and learned how to type on a very similar typewriter! She said she used to have to pound her fingers soooo hard. It’s funny to see her type on the computer – she still kinda types hard haha u/littleverdin – I loved the tulip verse! u/DNA-Ligase – thanks for the Christmas in July card exchange! u/amber_evon – thank you for the great postcard and chili recipe! My mother was reading the recipe and I think the ingredients were a little too unusual for her hah u/mikepenpal66 – this is a VERY overdue thank you for an exquisite card! I got a lecture from y mother for not thanking you earlier but I was glad I had inadvertently saved it so I opened it when visiting and she could see it too. Yes, we must do more exchanges! I think I have a ways to go to reach your level of talent though! u/amo616 (x2)– I had to laugh at your comment asking me where I buy supplies because it seems to be an ever expanding list! In fact, I just placed a rather large washi order right before writing these thank yous – oops! Thank you for the cute sticker that you included in one of the cards as well! u/ladyg8r (x2)– I loved the red white and blue theme and my mother chimed in to say she has a cousin who lives in your town 😊 Thank you also for the birthday wishes!!! u/mypetitmal – I loved the cute bear card you sent! u/OGtrashkan – I loved your card – my mom knits a lot of items for charity and I had bought her thaose same cards for her to include in her packages! Clearly, we both have great taste in cards! u/Buttersushi – the bear doing yoga card was so cute! I wasn’t ever allowed to have a pet so your comment about having a guinea pig elicited a funny comment from my mother lol u/Google_panda – I loved the card you made with your Cricut! I finally got mine for my birthday and my mother loved seeing your card to see what the Cricuts can do! (since she’s the one who bought it for me haha) u/kimmylubs (x3) – I loved the sparkly avocado card!!! Omg, it’s sooo cute! I hear ya on card making burnout. I’ve been going in streaks – last week I think I sent out 45+ cards so this week going to take it a little easier. u/surgeson – my mom and I both thought the blimp over NY postcard was very cool!!! u/CapnCobber (x2)– my mother was very taken by the black envelopes you use for your cards! I think the one I opened must have gotten misplaced because it mentioned making Easter dinner. Oops. Don’t worry – my mom chastised me for not opening it sooner! (I guess you’re never too old for a lecture haha) I also LOVED the sunflower themed card!!! So gorgeous!!! u/scottie0319– thank you for the birthday card! I’ve decided I’m waiting to turn another year older next year since we couldn’t really celebrate haha u/poisonouskey – somehow I am VERY overdue in guessing your 2 truths and a lie! I am going to guess the lie is you are doublejointed in your fingers? u/katier127 (x2)– thank you for the random postcard! Sometimes those are fun trying to figure out what the heck they are haha I also loved the cherry blossom postcard you sent as well! u/boxjumpingbabygirl97 – thank you for remembering I loved your Lake Superior postcards! I also love the washi your friend gave you. (I just bought waaaay too much washi online today in a big sale – ooops!) u/808pgh (x2) – thank you for the beautiful vintage postcard with birthday wishes. I also loved the postcard you thrifted as well – it looks like a place I want to visit! u/brej9 – what a beautiful card of the Yukon! I would love to see the midnight sun like that! u/bellanova2018 – I loved your “gang-gang” postcard! Nature is so diverse in its beauty, isn’t it! u/schquimpy – thank you for your card – I hope all is well up in your part of the state! I see you’re getting a mask mandate as well – I’m assuming it’s due to all the tourists? Stay safe! u/historymysterygal – thank you for the birthday card!! I love getting unexpected mail from everyone’s mail lists from the first part of the year. Wow, how the world has changed since then!!! u/peglegmegxx – I loved the tea/coffee themed postcard and the matching washi! For some reason I never seem to use washi on my postcards – not sure why haha
I am originally from Arizona. My mother remarried when I was 18 and still in high school - she had some mental issues that stemmed from long-term loneliness, so it actually didn't suprise me when she ended up marrying some guy from work after just a single week of dating. They got married without me ever officially meeting the guy.
Anyhow, one day (shortly after the marriage) during my senior year of high school I came home to find that my house had been sold, and my mom was moving out. She had an eviction notice from the bank, as it turns out my mother was going to lose the house, so the marriage was a way of her getting a safety net.
Long story short, I was told by my mother's new husband that I was an adult, and needed to start fending for myself. I was not allowed to move in with them (even though they had a guest room), and had to pack a bag, grab my dog, and go...to school.
I mean, I had class the next morning. I went to my wrestling coach with my issue and he allowed me to live with his family. When season ended I got a job, my own apt, and eventually a car. I was an honor roll student my entire life, but that last semester I failed all my classes because I had to work. I shouldn't have graduated, but the school principal ordered all my teachers to give me a C due to my situation...I had A's & B's in their classes the previous semester, so they were happy to do it.
I worked three jobs at a time trying to support myself and also put myself through school. Community college was only 900 bucks a semester, but that was hard as heck to save - given I was working for $5.25 an hour minimum wage. But, I did it...
I competed in NJCAA Football and Wrestling, eventually earning All-American honors in both. This led to a wrestling scholarship to a DII school. The scholarship was just enough so that if I maxed out my student loans, tuition was paid for. This school was in California so I had to move.
This started the next chapter of my life as a broke college student who lived out of my car, and would usually walk around with less than $100 dollars to my name. It was the sacrifice I chose to make in order to get my education, as the athletic schedule kept me from holding a job, so what money I did have came from working at a labor staffing agency on the weekends. You'd get like 50 bucks for roofing, drywall deconstruction, or digging ditches.
It was rough, but I don't think I minded it too much - I was just happy to be consistently moving forward with my life.
I kept in contact w/ my mother. She had her various mental breakdowns here and there, but I always hoped she would eventually revert back to normal. Anyhow, when she found out that I was living in my car she insisted on paying for my car insurance. She knew that I frequently ran out of money, and she didn't want me to lose my "home."
I decided to travel back to Arizona to spend the Holidays with her. She had told me that she had cleared this with her husband, but I guess she actually hadn't. Because when he found out, he threw a huge fit and eventually cancelled my car insurance.
I was commuting through Vegas at the time, when I received a call from GEICO wanting to know why I had cancelled my insurance. I had enough money at the time, so I actually paid for it myself and got my insurance back. I asked for clarification if everything was ok, and if I was good to continue driving, and the sales rep said that it was.
Later that night while I'm somewhere in between Henderson and The Hoover Dam I get pulled over by a police car for not having any insurance. I explained to him the situation, and he confirmed that I did indeed have insurance. Unfortunately for me, the DMV had already suspended my license plate. Not my driver's license, but my actual license plate. They also suspended my registration.
The police officer informed me that even though I was without insurance for less than an hour, since GEICO reported it to the DMV, the wheels were already set in motion. In fact, after checking the time of expiration, it was revealed that by the time the DMV had processed the suspension, I had already purchased back my insurance.
I asked the police officer how on earth I was expected to know this. He claimed that when the DMV processed the suspension they automatically issued a letter to the address on my license informing me of the suspension, and that I should receive it in 3-5 business days.
So I asked again, how on Earth was I expected to know my license plate was suspended, I had asked the GEICO rep if I was good to go, and he said yes. The officer told me that the GEICO rep had no way of knowing my license plate was suspended...and that there was no way of me knowing that it had been suspended either, not until I received the letter.
So I clarified that I indeed had insurance, and that I should be legal to drive, but because the DMV had already suspended my license plate I was in fact not legal to drive...even though it was absolutely impossible for me to know that my plate was suspended. He confirmed that was indeed the truth. He said that in order to get my license plate and registration reinstated all I'd have to do was visit the Arizona DMV and show them my insurance card. It wouldn't cost any money, it would take about 10 minutes to do, and the closest AZ DMV was in Kingman about a hundred miles up the road.
So I told him that I would drive to Kingman, go to the DMV, and get everything straightened out. The officer told me that wasn't possible, because he needed to tow my car.
I asked him how that was fair, and he stated that it wasn't fair. But in the eyes of the law ignorance is no excuse and he has to do his job.
We were on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. No street lights, no stores...nothing but dirt. I asked him what was I to do? He said I should call someone to come pick me up. I explained that I didn't live in Nevada, I didn't know a single soul in the entire state. That I only had about 200 bucks on me, which was gas money to get to Phoenix. On top of that my phone was dead.
The cop stated that he was authorize to get me off the dark road due to it being a hazard, and he could drive me to the nearest populated area, which was The Railroad Pass Hotel & Casino.
So they tow my car to a lot in Henderson, while the cop drops me off at the Railroad Pass Casino, and now I'm stuck. This casino was by itself in the middle of the desert. There was nothing else around. There were no sidewalks or neighborhoods nearby. Just the Casino and the highway...which was dark without any lighting. So I couldn't even walk to the next town. I was thoroughly stranded.
So I walk into the hotel lobby and search for an outlet to charge my phone. I find one, but security immediately stops me. I explain to them my situation, and they state that unless I'm staying in the hotel or making purchases I have to leave. I ask them to let me charge my phone for at least ten minutes, as it's completely dead. Nope, apparently I'm trespassing - so I have to leave.
They walk me out to the parking lot, and want to know where my car is. I told them that I don't have one, but they claim that there is no way for me to get their without a car. There aren't even any busses that stop at that casino. I explained my story again, and they still don't believe it. They think I'm a homeless hitchhiker. They claim that if I don't leave they'll call the police, to which I reply, "please do."
They leave, and I'm stuck in the parking lot asking people if I can borrow their phone. Eventually the police do indeed come, and I explained to them my situation. They arrest me for trespassing, cuff me, and take me to Boulder City where I spend the night in a jail cell.
The next morning the police verify my story, and the same officer who pulled me over offers me a ride to Henderson so I can get my car. No trespassing charges are actually filed, and when I get to Henderson the officer authorizes the release of my vehicle. He tells me to drive carefully, because I could get pulled over again by a different officer.
Two hours later I make it to the Kingman DMV, and in about 5 minutes they reinstate my license plate and registration. I go ahead and drive to my mother's house for Christmas, only to be given gas money from my step-dad and told to drive home.
That same night, I'm back in Boulder City and I'm pulled over by the same police officer. He had no reason for pulling me over other than it's suspicious that I'm still in the area. I explained to him my situation, and he apologizes to me for the hell I've been through. He lets me know that the impound lot will NOT be charging me for the tow, and offers to buy me dinner at, of all places, The Railroad Pass Casino. I politely decline and make my way back to California.
Now here is where life really begins to suck. The tickets I received for "displaying false plates" and "providing suspended registration" equates to about 7 thousand dollars. Which I obviously cannot pay. My driver's license is suspended shortly afterwards. I'm forced to drive carefully from then on out, basically parking and never moving. But eventually a warrant is issued for my arrest due to failure to pay. My car is towed one night (it was parked) and I lose my "home."
Luckily I was able to move in with my girlfriend, and after the police realize I have no money to pay them the arrest warrant is rescinded. I eventually graduate college, and get a job working in San Francisco tech. Lucky for me I don't need to drive anywhere. Everything is in walking distance.
Ironically enough, I got my job in tech partly due to this debt. You see, I actually wanted to become a police officer, and one of the degrees that I received was in Criminal Justice. I actually interned for two years at the police department while finishing up school. Following my graduation, I was denied entry into the police academy until all of my outstanding traffic tickets were paid.
I picked up a paid internship at a gaming company, that eventually turned into a full time gig. That's since morphed into various different jobs over the years, but all pretty cool. My intention was to save enough money to eventually pay off the ticket and enter the academy...but I've since become very jaded when it comes to the "system", so I ultimately just decided to stay in the Silicon Valley tech industry instead.
I thought the blunt of this entire debacle was mostly behind me, but recently I tried to marry my girlfriend of one year, but, I was denied my marriage license because I need to pay the tickets. Which w/ interest has ballooned to over $12,000 dollars. Which is about half of my current savings.
/u/astroboy37 on Should the “minimum wage” be “minimum livable wage”?
The issue with the internship angle is that an internship by definition must detriment the employer for the benefit of the intern. You get away with not paying them at all because you're teaching them essentially and taking a business hit. I'm not in the business of running a paralegal school I'm in the business of practicing law. Further, someone truly entry level like a 16 year old can be legally an employee and still be too fundamentally unskilled to turn a profit at minimum wage. By pricing them out like that they fall into the trap of staying unskilled because I can't pay them $100 a week for 20 hours of clerical work while gradually escalating responsibilities. I think you attribute too much benefit to the minimum wage as is. Your example of low skilled workers not being able to demand higher pay, and not moving on to other jobs, I'd ask why not? There are plenty of places right now hiring. In fact October 14 last year Pew published a report stating that 39 states had more jobs than they have applicants. There are several entire fields of work in Alaska where the average time to fill a vacancy is over a year. People aren't stuck at low pay because no one will offer them more pay. They're stuck at low pay because no one will offer them more at the exact duties they want (maybe a ditch digger just doesn't wanna do janitorial work for the school district or be an apartment handyman's assistant), or they won't offer a job in the zip code they want even if a company in rural Idaho is perfectly willing to offer them a year long contract at triple their current pay, or they can't get the schedule they find ideal (I personally have a policy that I never work weekends and have turned down higher paying jobs that wanted me to have Saturday rotations back when I worked IT while going through university), or they don't realize that the lower pay they'll get elsewhere is vastly better for them because the cost of living would decrease (for example the average pay for a fine dining server in San Francisco is more money than the average income of an American household, yet half that pay by bartending in an Indian casino in southern Oklahoma is actually a huge step up in take home pay between cost of living decreases and significantly less taxation. As far as good faith, there's nothing good faith about capitalism, that's what courts are for. Everyone is out to maximize their end goal, usually money and that includes workers. If a company knows that they're the only one hiring in a small town and figure they can get away with $3.75 an hour then by all means let them. Nothing stops those employees from unionizing. Nothing stops them from all just walking off the job one day. Without any doubt that company will have high turnover as any employee making that little is blasting resumes every day and night and in this vast country someone is sure as hell going to beat $4. In fact even today nothing stops an individual employee from going to. Their boss and saying "You know I've been here a year now and I've learned these additional skills from when I got hired and my rent has increased $75 a month because of the property tax hike so I'm actually making less money today than a year ago due to me staying in this area and working for you. I'm going to need atleast another $2 an hour to make this work for me". With or without a minimum wage, high turnover is the death of a company as I illustrated above how expensive an endeavor it is to get train people into being quality. from astroboy37 on Should the “minimum wage” be “minimum livable wage”?
A story about how today is the last day of gambling
Hey folks, below I will write my story about the impact that gambling had upon my life, hold tight, I like to give details. Early days It all started when I was around 15-16 y/o and got into high-school. It was somewhat of a trend in my classroom that some of the kids were gambling their lunch money on football ( and in my country nobody would care if a kid would walk into a betting shop). Me and my best friend got interested and started looking into it. Fast forward 2 years later (after we've tried and failed a lot of things and lost some money, but not a lot as you don't have a lot of money in your hands as a kid, we managed to find out a way of actually winning out of football bets) I started making serious amounts of money for my age (17-18 y/o), somewhere around the same money my mum was making after 20-25 years of career. A few months into this, my mum finds the stacks of money hidden in my room and the papers where I was writing my BankRoll transactions and bets by hand to keep track of winnings and losings and she thought I was selling drugs or doing some weird kind of shit, I told her what I was about and she forced me to stop - despite the amounts of money. So far no hard feelings were involved into gambling, it was more of an interesting challenge for me. A few months later, after the money had run out, I lost a good chunk of money my mum gave me for a holiday on gambling and promised myself to never do it again like this... I ended up getting into poker... I've started reading a few books and strategy about poker and then I did an online deposit after I turned 18. The first tournament I play with money won at freerolls, I end up taking 1st place - I can't tell you how excited I was. Where is this taking me? A few years later I find myself going through a Computing Science degree at uni. Poker was a huge dream of mine but I ended up playing higher stakes than I should, I ended up throwing away a lot of my own money (earned through part-time jobs while studying) online and live in the casinos. Truth is I could've had fun using that money but I spewed it away. Through these years I started developing an addiction for the feelings that gambling gives you. I had huge issues with depression and anxiety, was suicidal two times but never ended up doing it, gambling and videogames were the perfect getaway...with gambling slowly creeping in. I find myself getting an internship at a top company and got paid really well that summer. I end up blasting a good chunk of it on high stakes poker and then I get into slots... At slots, I end up spinning 1k into 12.5k, withdrew it all away knowing this amount of money was covering all my loses through the uni years and it was adding some good profit on top. I sit on that money for about a month, ready to buy my dream car and get away from gambling....I end up depositing chunk after chunk after chunk...guess what? losing all of it!!! Then I realize how big of an issue gambling is and how much is degrading my mental health and the way I feel about the world, I go through therapy and stop. It has to stop now Few years later, my internship turned into a well paying job at a top corporation. I've been gambling free for a couple of years, I'm saving a good chunk and of income and investing most of it. But hey...working a 9-5, wearing a suit and dying in front of a screen is not the dream, is it? So I'm starting to think about a way of getting away, of living differently and I remember about my old friend..poker..and how so many people live off poker. But I don't remember the issues that I had with slots and the roller-coaster gambling took me so far. Anyways, I start studying the game deeply and promised to be professional about it. At this time I sit on savings that I can use to deposit money to get my first house, or to buy a brand new sports car....at 25 y/o, but I decide to give poker a chance and see if it can take me places. Few months into the grind, I end up playing high stakes poker and winning at it by a small margin. Was winning at the game but my mental state was degrading, gambling for a living if you are not strong mentally is not to be advised, and I was not that strong mentally if you remember the issues that I had before. I promised I would use only 25-30% of my savings to give this a shot, I end up using 70% of my savings,I end up losing all of it playing nose bleed stakes with the crushers and in a few days they crushed me, and to be honest it's not the money that I lost that is the issue. I completely stopped and I will never get back to this, I will go seek a different self and run away from this. The real issue The main problem is that gambling kills you mentally and messes up with your energy as a person. You end up seeing life differently, you end up with the wrong view of what happiness is. I wish I could go back in time to when I was in high-school and look at my classmates placing football bets and take the opposite route and be like..that's stupid, that's not for me. Could've saved me of so many years of self-inflicted pain. For anyone reading this post, thank you and if you have or believe to have an issue with gambling, winning or losing, it's not going to end up well, even if you are winning, that's my opinion. You might be winning money, but you are losing soul. I will go ahead and buy myself a 2nd hand car with the money left and for the time that I will use it, let it be a daily reminder that I should not gamble ever again, and be happy with what I've managed to achieve in my career so far. I'm posting this as none of my family know about my issue and I'm looking for a bit of support.
Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in ia. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!
Some backstory: My mom has had a lot of childhood trauma and has a really bad gambling addiction for as long as I can remember. My dad is scared of my mom and won’t say anything to her about her problem. I have a younger sibling who’s over a decade younger than me. College student here. I moved back home in March due to the Covid-19 situation and have been miserable since. My mom and I have never had a great relationship and ever since moving back home, there’s something new to argue about every week. I got a full-time internship for the summer and it’s work from home. I work 9-5 every day, Monday through Friday and I’m taking it really seriously because I’d love to get a full-time offer from them post graduation. Anyway, ever since casinos opened up, my parents have been going to them AT LEAST twice a week. My mom throws a fit if she doesn’t get to go and my dad has to go with her to ensure she’ll come home. (There have been multiple occasions where she‘s gone by herself and didn’t come home for an entire 48 hours) They go on weekdays or Sundays and I have to put my sibling to sleep. My sibling can’t sleep by themself so they have to sleep in my bed. My parents are supposed to carry my sibling to their bed if they come home very late or super early so that my morning work alarm doesn’t wake my sibling up. However, on multiple occasions, my parents don’t move my sibling from my bed and my sibling gets woken up from my work alarms while my parents are knocked out in the living room or their bed. I’ve tried talking to my mom about the situation, especially because I don’t feel comfortable with her going to casinos and coming back home (my mom and my sibling are both high-risk). These conversations usually turn into an argument and she says “Which one of us is the parent and which one is the child?” With all the money I have saved up from my internship, I want to move out. I just feel guilty about leaving my sibling, as we’re quite close. I know this will be a topic of discussion when my mom tries to guilt-trip me to stay home. However, I’m hoping that since there’s no one to babysit for them, they’ll step up as parents. If they don’t take my career seriously and I’m working full-time right now, I can only imagine how badly they’ll take advantage of my being home all the time if I’m only taking online classes this fall. AITA for wanting to move out?
Two months. Two months of busting my ass. Two months of not getting paid. Two months of commuting. Two months of shooting for the moon. Not a star in sight. I was tired. Barely getting any sleep. The life of an unpaid intern. This time last year I had money. The world was my oyster. Now what? I didn't plan for this. I want this job. I think. There's no guarantee. My hard work could be for nothing. That's why I'm writing. Yes. My side hustle. My side hustle that makes no money. I enjoy it though. I like covering stories. Events. News. I feel like a real journalist. Right in the trenches. I haven't covered a decent story in weeks. Horrible writers block. I can feel it slipping. The internship. The drive. The motivation. I want to give up. Throw in the towel. Nice run. This weekend is St. Patricks day though. A glimmer of hope. There's a parade in Atlantic City. I want to cover it. I have an idea. A story. Maybe. Just maybe. Maybe I can turn a trick. Stay afloat. Maybe I won't sink. This ship has no lifeboats. I have to make this work. I have to pull a rabbit out of a hat. The parade is a big deal. It only happens once a year. There's always a huge turnout. It takes place on the boardwalk. People as far as the eye can see. Everyone enjoying themselves. Even the few, or many, who have too much to drink before getting there. The idea is simple. Here's a parade. Outside. All sorts of people having fun. Just a few feet away, blocked by a wall, exists the local casino goers. They aren't attending. They sit glued to their chairs. Slipping one more quarter into the slot machine; one last desperate attempt to win. Ignoring the rapturous all-inclusive enjoyment on the other side of that wall. There are no windows. No clocks. Inside you belong to them. All they have to do is walk outside. Yet they sit bound to those chairs. They are the property of the casino. Paid for by their desperation. The regulars. That was my idea. This was my story. Along with my perspective of the parade. All I needed were a few interviews. Maybe a picture or two. Then all I had to do was write it up. I was excited. I still had half of my work day left. We were running an ELISA in our lab. An assay we used to measure specific proteins in our patients blood samples. We had been doing this for weeks. It was a tedious process. We had to be very careful. I usually took some Valium so my hands wouldn't shake. Today was one of those days. During my break I went to the courtyard. I had fashioned a bong out of some lab equipment. I forgot to clean one of the instruments, so I was praying whatever was in there wasn't flammable. It was not. While I was smoking David called me. He asked if I was going to the parade. Hot dog. Yes I am. He said Amelia had asked him if he could get some cocaine. She wanted to go to the parade with us. At this point I was locked in. Now I have people to go with. I'll just split up for a bit to cover my story and get my interviews. I was eager to get home. I decided I would leave work a bit early. I went back to the office I was borrowing at the time. I kept my supplies in there. A case of Fish Eye. Six pack of beer. A bottle of Oxycodone. Some cannabis. An Altoids can housed my Xanax and Valium. I put everything in my brief case along with a bottle of the Fish Eye and two beers. I walked across the skyway to the medical school. This was a nice building to take care of business. The research building is nice, but it was built in the sixties. Kind of falling apart. A bathroom on the first floor was my destination. I had to kill five minutes. Inside I took a Xanax and drank a beer. I made my way to the subway. Transferred at Market. Destination 30th street. When I arrived I bought my ticket. Still had to kill twenty minutes. Into the bathroom I went. I went in the stall and drank another beer. I like to catch a nice buzz before taking the train. I put my empty can on the toilet and walked out of the stall. Directly outside of the stall stood a police officer. Shit. I should have put the empty can away. I smiled at the officer and walked out. Thirty steps outside of the bathroom he caught up with me. "Hey, come here.". I turned around to comply. He asked if the beer was mine. I knew if I lied he'd nail me. I told him it was mine. I also apologized for leaving it. He told me it was illegal to drink in the bathroom. I told him I was aware of that. "What's in the case?". "Research." ... "For what?" I told him I was a medical school student, and handed over my identification. A driver's license. A student I.D. from the university. An employee I.D. from the medical school. All with my name on it. I am not a medical school student. That sounds much better than a new intern though. He lectured me about how I'm a smart guy. That I should know better. I agreed and apologized. I told him the seats on the train were uncomfortable. That beer helps. He laughed. He returned my cards and told me to stay out of trouble. That was close. There is no research in my brief case. That's for damn sure. I have to be more careful. The train was easy. I made it home and told David I was in the area. We spent the night exchanging stories and waiting for a couple grams of cocaine to arrive. Delivery. The future is now. We told Amelia we had the blow. We also had a place to observe the parade. We had a political connection in the city. Unfortunately they were away for the weekend. I would have loved to interview them. Fortunately they were away for the weekend. We were using their office to pregame. This was ideal. It's not easy to do cocaine out in the open. Now we had a basecamp. It was the morning of the parade. I was excited. Today I cover my story. My breakout story. I'll sell it to the press. A legitimate side hustle. I will not sink. No lifeboats. No need. This is it. The American dream. David and I met up after breakfast. We brewed some coffee. I took two Valium. We sampled the cocaine and poured some Irish whiskey in our mugs. A proper way to start the day. Amelia was going to meet us at the office. A taxi took us into the city. Along the way we stopped to pick up a fresh bottle of Jameson and two six pack of Guinness. Extra stout. We unlocked the building and made our way upstairs. What a beautiful office. Perfect view of where the parade would pass by. Gorgeous ocean view. The Atlantic is an acquired taste. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. I loved it. I grew up with it. Amelia was bringing friends. No problem. We have plenty of room. Hannah and Ellie. Ellie. I haven't seen Ellie all year. We grew up together. I had a crush on her all through high school. The girl from East Egg. We've had our ups and downs. I know one thing. Now I'm extremely nervous. Even with all this junk in my system. Fuck man. I don't know. She just strikes a chord in my feels. It's hard to describe. I'm happy though. I know that. We went to the parade before. I remember it well. We had fun. We ran through the Atlantic Club Casino laughing. We felt like outlaws. We were teenagers. We weren't allowed to be in the casino. Now the Atlantic Club is closed. A deserted building. An empty shell of a memory. That's how I felt without Ellie around anymore. They arrived and we let them in the office. We went upstairs. It was so nice to see my friends. It was even nicer to see Ellie. She looked amazing. A real sight for sore eyes. I almost didn't even want to drink anymore. We did though. A moment later and out comes the cocaine. David broke up even lines across the desk. It was a beautiful desk. Amelia had done coke before at her University. Hannah and Ellie started asking questions. They had never done it before. I started to explain. Then I began to feel uncomfortable. What the fuck am I doing? I don't want this. Hannah sniffed a line. There was a pause. Ellie went in for the kill. "No!" I lunged forward, swiping the powder off the desk. "What the fuck dude?", Amelia asked. I looked at David. He knew why I did that. Then I looked at Ellie. She looked relieved. Hannah started laughing. There were no secrets here. No one said anything, but we all knew why I did that. We poured some shots of Jameson and said cheers. Here comes the parade. We went down to the boardwalk. We were all in our little group. We laughed. We waved at the parade goers. I was happy. Shit. I have to get my interviews. I have to look at the miserable people. Those poor desperate fools. I need my story. I have to witness the decadence. I have to report! Here. The Wild Wild West Casino. It's just on the other side of that wall. I only need a minute. I walked over to the building. Then I turned around. As I turned, so did Ellie. She looked at me. It was only a brief moment, but it was enough. She turned back to the parade. I was frozen. Frozen like the day I met her in the snack line in sixth grade. I knew if I walked through that door I'd never come back. What about the story? What about my side hustle? I need to stay afloat. What if I don't get the job? I'm sinking. This is my lifeline. This story is everything. I need this. I couldn't let go. I haven't seen her in a while. The last time I saw her I didn't think this much time would lapse before we would reunite. How much time would lapse now? I walked back to my friends. I had to. We spent the rest of the day enjoying the parade. Enjoying the nice weather. The beach. The ocean. Enjoying each other. The company. The company of dear friends. The cost of friendship is -- it's priceless. It's easy, sometimes, to forget that. Somewhere in the mix David and I were separated. I stayed with the girls. We took a bus back to Hannah's house. We ordered food and watched Veronica Mars all day. I was not invested whatsoever in that show. I was invested in the time we spent though. Time with my friends. It was great. I knew that I wouldn't see Ellie for a while after that. Just a feeling. I went home after dinner. What an amazing day. I fucked up the story though. I didn't have one. I went to my friend Steve's house. There were a bunch of people there. We all drank. I shared my Xanax with everyone. An hour later I yelled at everyone for stealing them. No surprise there. I was smashed. I was.. I was the one desperately putting coins in that slot machine. I lost. I was sad. Smile because it happened right? Why can't I just find the courage to say "Hey, I don't feel comfortable giving you cocaine. I don't want you to get hurt.". Everything was silently understood. That's just it. I don't want to be silent. I want to say that I like you. The way I tell every other girl I've liked. I wish I didn't get tongue tied with the only girl that actually matters to me. I wouldn't see her again for a while. I also wouldn't write again for almost a year. I continued to press on. Back to the internship. Back to reality. I kept moving. Fucking boat against the current. I was terrified of being borne back ceaselessly into the past. I am no writer. No one takes my writing seriously. I have no story. I can't even cover a local parade. Ellie is gone. She's never coming back. She'll meet a better man. Someone who can talk to her. Tell her they love her. I have to be careful. Careful not to believe in that green light. That orgastic future that year by year recedes before me. Today I am right here. Sitting on the commuter train. Jotting down my failure into my little notebook. Scribbling nonsense that no one will ever read. Silly rabbit. Tricks are for kids. \*More stories, including my high school experience, can be found on* stories. \**Excerpt from my journal:* Monday, March 17th, 2014 got lost searching for the american dream..Didn't cover the parade. had fun but now have nothing to write about. This job fucking sucks i dont even knw what im doing. This wine is doing the trick though... Fuck I miss \**** already god fucking dammit Im gonna get yelled at for not doing my weekend report. I was supposed to transcribe the data from our shared drive. I didnt do it Fuck them they dont even pay me. I hate my life. I fail everything and am a fraud , here comes the ticket guy... fucking swine*
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